It's the waiting that can drive you crazy

Warning: Crazy, Type A lady (me) shows herself in this post. You've been warned...

So I think I just come to this blog when I feel like I don't have any control over what's happening. Typing about not having control helps me feel in control - maybe?

We have checked everything off our list of to-dos. We have paid the clinic our $36,000, we've paid the lawyer the $1,700, we've gotten our blood work completed along with all the other tests needed. Everything is checked off our list, and has been that way since Tuesday. So now we're just waiting to get the calendar...and the waiting is killing me! I'm actually a bit frustrated because I have even emailed my nurse to check in and tell her how anxious I am to get the calendar, and I haven't heard back from her. Granted, I emailed her yesterday around 3:00 our time (that's 1:00 in San Diego), so she hasn't had a full 24 hours yet to reply, but she has had 24 hours since she should have gotten word that we are all set to go.

That wouldn't be so frustrating, but I also emailed the financial lady on Tuesday to make sure we are indeed at a $0 balance. I haven't heard back from her either. And she has definitely had a full 24 hours to respond. What's going on over there in San Diego?!

I'm going to give them to the end of the day, and if I don't hear anything from anybody by then, I'm going to call. I mean, even if they respond back to let me know they're checking on it, right? Even if they are emailing me to tell me to get a grip and it takes a while - just give me a response! Maybe it's because I've been spoiled. CCRM was always excellent at getting back to me within hours of an email. And if I'm honest, Nurse Hilary is usually just as good...but that's also why I'm freaking out a little bit. Communication, people!!

I have to keep telling myself that we have plenty of time, and all will work out when it's supposed to, but I just want a plan. I want to know when things are going to start happening. When do I have to start shots? When will Ryan go out to SD for egg retrieval? Will it work out for me (and maybe Anadine) to go with him? When will transfer be? I need to plan! 


UPDATE
I just received an email from Nurse Hilary (they must read my blog! ha!) that gave me a tentative schedule. She said we have to wait until the legal contract is completed to know for certain. See, I was under the impression that we just had to have the retainer and fees in for them to work up a calendar, and then the contract just had to be complete before egg retrieval. Ugh - it's probably my lack of understanding, but still! She said assuming legal can get their stuff together by March 12, we can do an April 14 transfer. I would start my estrace on March 24 (birth control would be before that and would stop on 3/20). I would have ultrasounds on 3/24, 3/31 and 4/7 which would be perfect because those first two would be during my spring break and I wouldn't have to take off work to drive to Jackson for them. It probably also means egg retrieval would be around 3/31, which is great (I think) because we will be in New Orleans two days before that and Ryan could fly out from New Orleans (way cheaper flights). Of course that's the part that's always iffy because egg retrieval is determined so much by how our donor is responding to the medications. Ryan would be pretty mad if he had to miss the concert we're going to see. I don't know - this is all still up in the air until we get the legal stuff done. I've emailed the legal girl to see how quickly they can get things completed. So now...more waiting. At least I have some sort of idea of what could happen. We may very well be looking at a May transfer - not the worst thing in the world - it would just mean more --- WAITING!

I see the light at the end of the tunnel (I hope!)

Okay, we are finally getting to the point where we have our funds together and can get our calendar. I hope we'll have our calendar by the end of the week. We should have everything paid by Wednesday, and then it's just a matter of getting the results of one last blood test in. So, yeah, here's that story...

Nurse Hilary emailed me last week to check in. She told me that she hadn't received R's blood work yet (he had it done weeks ago) and that she was missing one of my tests. We called the labs and they sent them over (which they should have done weeks ago, but whatever). She also said that she thinks my lab may have taken the wrong test for one of the orders - they took the hepatitis antibody, when they needed to take the hepatitis antigen. Don't ask me what the difference is, but it meant I had to go back to the doctor and have my blood drawn again. UGH! So on Friday I grudgingly went back to my doctor, sat in the waiting room for 20 minutes (I was the only person there, there really was no reason for the wait) and got my blood drawn. Everything went as normal, she gave me a band-aid with the lovely cotton swab under it, I pulled my sleeve down, left the office, and got on the elevator. No biggie- until I got off the elevator and felt something dripping on my arm. I looked down, and my entire shirt sleeve from the elbow down was drenched in blood! It's like my vein was so used to giving vials and vials of blood and it didn't know how to stop at just one! Ha! All is well now, but it was pretty gross and annoying. And now it's annoying that we have to wait for that one result to come back to be cleared to start the cycle. I expect those results pretty quickly though and we still should be able to get our calendar soon. Woohoo!

***UPDATE*** I received a phone call from my nurse about 2 hours after writing the post and the results are in. She faxed them over. So we are good to go...just waiting on one last check to come in (hopefully today) then we'll pay up and get our calendar going.

We're also working with the lawyer to get the legal contracts between us and our donor. We have decided to do a completely open arrangement, meaning we will have open contact with our donor in whatever manner we see fit. I don't see us becoming best friends with her, but I'll add her to the Christmas card list, befriend her on social media - that sort of thing.

I can't believe we're actually about to start this thing!!!