I am officially a CCRM graduate! I went in for my weekly blood work on Wednesday and all of my levels looked good, so I am no longer a patient of CCRM and I can begin seeing a regular OB and begin thinking of my pregnancy as "normal." My nurse sent me a really sweet email Wednesday afternoon telling me how happy she was for me and telling me to be sure to send my birth story and pictures when the time comes. It's kind of a bitter sweet feeling. I am so glad that I am finished with the weekly blood draws, hormone support medications, and excessive money spent, but it will be kind of tough not having that weekly reassurance that everything is going as it's supposed to. However, I am 12 weeks as of yesterday so I am beginning to feel more comfortable that this is really happening. We will be making our big announcement (basically that means we'll be announcing it on Facebook since most of our family and close friends know already) next week after our first official OB appointment. We are hoping that we will be able to have an ultrasound since a. this will be our first appointment with this doctor and b. I will be at just the right time to have the NT scan to check for the possibility of any abnormalities. Since we didn't do any of the genetic screening on our embryos there is still that possibility, although we have no reason (family history, etc) to believe that everything isn't okay. It's still a little scary, but I'm trying to stay positive that everything is okay with our little okra!
I'm still dealing with my night sickness (I feel great in the morning) and still throw up at least every other night. Surely I will start to feel better soon, right? It is great reassurance, as I've said, but it would be nice to get a good night's sleep in before I start getting new reasons to lose sleep. I'm also starting to get a little baby bump and I'm about to have to break down and get some maternity jeans. My jeans still fit, but they certainly aren't comfortable and I spend most of my day with them unbuttoned. I think most of my bump is mostly the bloat from the constant eating I've been doing (the only thing that keeps the nausea at bay) so I have really started trying to snack on carrots and oranges instead of the bagels that tasted so good to me a few weeks ago. I hope none of this comes across as complaining - it is all truly wonderful and I am still amazed that I have this miracle baby inside me. I'm trying to remember every little thing because who knows if I'll ever be able to experience this again. I just can't believe I am this blessed!
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Friday, August 19, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Morning Prayers
I had a realization the other morning and I thought I would share. First let me say that I'm usually not much for talking about my praying habits or my relationship with God- it's always been a pretty private matter in my eyes. But I thought that some of you might like to hear about this.
Back in November when I was starting my third ivf cycle, a friend/coworker of mine gave both me and Ryan a necklace with the Catholic saint of motherhood and fertility (Saint Gerard) on it. It was a very sweet gesture and both of us have worn the necklace every day since we got it. When we were gearing up for this ivf cycle I started a simple routine in the morning when I put on the necklace - I would simply say "pray for us Saint Gerard, Saint Gerard pray for us. Please God hear our prayer, please God be with us." I asked Saint Gerard twice - once for me and once for Ryan. It was a simple prayer that calmed me in the morning. As we progressed throughout our ivf cycle I started to say the phrase "Saint Gerard pray for us" once for me, once for Ryan, and then once for each follicle we had at our latest ultrasound. So for a while there I was saying it ten times before finishing the prayer with "please God be with us." Then after egg retrieval and we had five eggs fertilize, I was saying it 7 times, and after transfer I was saying it four times for our two embies and the two of us. Well ever since our first ultrasound I have been saying it three times. It felt weird and short at first- but then I realized the other morning that as I ask Saint Gerard to pray for each of us, it feels like we are a family now. It was a really weird and wonderful realization. We are a family of three and that fact is becoming more and more real to me.
I continue to wear the necklace and probably will continue to do so well into motherhood! It is an amazing reminder that no matter what happens, God is with us. He gives us these challenges and although I still don't understand why he chose me and Ryan for this particular challenge, I do see that he has been with us the entire way. I continue to pray that this nugget stays strong and that I get to meet him/her in about 6 1/2 months. I pray that God stays with us and our little baby forever and for always.
Amen
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Back in November when I was starting my third ivf cycle, a friend/coworker of mine gave both me and Ryan a necklace with the Catholic saint of motherhood and fertility (Saint Gerard) on it. It was a very sweet gesture and both of us have worn the necklace every day since we got it. When we were gearing up for this ivf cycle I started a simple routine in the morning when I put on the necklace - I would simply say "pray for us Saint Gerard, Saint Gerard pray for us. Please God hear our prayer, please God be with us." I asked Saint Gerard twice - once for me and once for Ryan. It was a simple prayer that calmed me in the morning. As we progressed throughout our ivf cycle I started to say the phrase "Saint Gerard pray for us" once for me, once for Ryan, and then once for each follicle we had at our latest ultrasound. So for a while there I was saying it ten times before finishing the prayer with "please God be with us." Then after egg retrieval and we had five eggs fertilize, I was saying it 7 times, and after transfer I was saying it four times for our two embies and the two of us. Well ever since our first ultrasound I have been saying it three times. It felt weird and short at first- but then I realized the other morning that as I ask Saint Gerard to pray for each of us, it feels like we are a family now. It was a really weird and wonderful realization. We are a family of three and that fact is becoming more and more real to me.
I continue to wear the necklace and probably will continue to do so well into motherhood! It is an amazing reminder that no matter what happens, God is with us. He gives us these challenges and although I still don't understand why he chose me and Ryan for this particular challenge, I do see that he has been with us the entire way. I continue to pray that this nugget stays strong and that I get to meet him/her in about 6 1/2 months. I pray that God stays with us and our little baby forever and for always.
Amen
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Friday, August 5, 2011
I know, I know, it's been forever!
Okay so first, my sincere apologies to all of my blog-followers! I know I have been the worst blogger ever! I have been living without Internet for the past month and therefore have been unable to post. I have been hounded by several of my friends and I have been made aware of how worried my absence has made some of you. Rest assured- everything is fine!
So- there is a lot to update you all on. The last time I posted was just after our first ultrasound at 6 weeks. At that time I tried to post a picture, but for some reason my connection wouldn't let me at the time. So here's the picture from that first ultrasound...
That's our little butter bean and the yolk sack!
Since then, I have continued to get blood work every week to check my estrogen and progesterone levels and they have continued to look good. We had another ultrasound at 8 weeks 4 days and this is what we saw...
The heart rate was 165 and the baby looked perfect! Sorry the picture is so dark, but you get the idea!
I have had pretty bad morning sickness, although it is starting to subside. It is definitely worse at night. It was really bad from weeks 6-8. I felt nauseous ALL THE TIME! But now I generally feel good all day and then around 6:00 I start to feel pretty sick, throw up, and then feel somewhat better. It's all okay though- it's wonderful reassurance that our little baby is still there!
My face still looks terrible. No amount of washing makes it any better...I sure hope that pregnancy glow that I keep hearing about shows up soon because right now I feel like I look pretty much like death!
They have started to wean me off of my meds. I am down to one progesterone suppository a day and only one estrogen patch every other day. I am hoping that once I stop taking all these extra hormones I will start to feel a ton better, but we'll see!
I think the hardest part of all of this is R is still in Baton Rouge trying to finish his thesis and I am in Jackson. It's tough not having him here, especially since we're not exactly sure when he will actually get here. He keeps having set backs on getting finished and that's kind of stressing me out (I know, I know, I've already gotten the lectures on how stress isn't good for baby). The biggest thing is trying to figure out our health insurance because we thought we would be able to get on his insurance with his new job on september 1, but if he doesn't start on September 1, then we are out of luck! I think we have figured something out though and I'll be able to go to one of the doctors I had in mind-- long story, but a friend of mine arranged for me to see her doctor without insurance until we get something set up. It looks like I may have a solution before then anyway though- thanks to my fabulous dad who knows how to work the system! :)
Anyway, my first OB appointment (when I will be officially released as CCRM's patient) is August 24! I would so love to have another ultrasound then, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I have come to realize that I have already been able to see my baby much more than the "normal" pregnant woman and for that I count myself lucky. I could stare at that little black and white picture for hours! Poor kid...who knows what I'll be like when I can actually stare at his/her face!
Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
So- there is a lot to update you all on. The last time I posted was just after our first ultrasound at 6 weeks. At that time I tried to post a picture, but for some reason my connection wouldn't let me at the time. So here's the picture from that first ultrasound...
That's our little butter bean and the yolk sack!
Since then, I have continued to get blood work every week to check my estrogen and progesterone levels and they have continued to look good. We had another ultrasound at 8 weeks 4 days and this is what we saw...
The heart rate was 165 and the baby looked perfect! Sorry the picture is so dark, but you get the idea!
I have had pretty bad morning sickness, although it is starting to subside. It is definitely worse at night. It was really bad from weeks 6-8. I felt nauseous ALL THE TIME! But now I generally feel good all day and then around 6:00 I start to feel pretty sick, throw up, and then feel somewhat better. It's all okay though- it's wonderful reassurance that our little baby is still there!
My face still looks terrible. No amount of washing makes it any better...I sure hope that pregnancy glow that I keep hearing about shows up soon because right now I feel like I look pretty much like death!
They have started to wean me off of my meds. I am down to one progesterone suppository a day and only one estrogen patch every other day. I am hoping that once I stop taking all these extra hormones I will start to feel a ton better, but we'll see!
I think the hardest part of all of this is R is still in Baton Rouge trying to finish his thesis and I am in Jackson. It's tough not having him here, especially since we're not exactly sure when he will actually get here. He keeps having set backs on getting finished and that's kind of stressing me out (I know, I know, I've already gotten the lectures on how stress isn't good for baby). The biggest thing is trying to figure out our health insurance because we thought we would be able to get on his insurance with his new job on september 1, but if he doesn't start on September 1, then we are out of luck! I think we have figured something out though and I'll be able to go to one of the doctors I had in mind-- long story, but a friend of mine arranged for me to see her doctor without insurance until we get something set up. It looks like I may have a solution before then anyway though- thanks to my fabulous dad who knows how to work the system! :)
Anyway, my first OB appointment (when I will be officially released as CCRM's patient) is August 24! I would so love to have another ultrasound then, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I have come to realize that I have already been able to see my baby much more than the "normal" pregnant woman and for that I count myself lucky. I could stare at that little black and white picture for hours! Poor kid...who knows what I'll be like when I can actually stare at his/her face!
Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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